Events have quickly spiraled beyond my comprehension and control.
I was not able to get away from my companions as we traveled. We came upon Virnskeggi far more quickly than I had anticipated, and we found the city already under siege. Dolartu, Bjorn, and I were separated from the rest of the group and were forced to defend ourselves. However, this was incidental. We defeated the enemy and left to seek out the warriors of the town while Bjorn took his troops back to Huld to prepare for another attack, or to retreat, I know not which. These warriors were led by an elf, of all things. Here! A resident, by the sound, which caused me some little wonder.
We made our way into the mountains, tracking the Virnskeggi warriors. It was easy enough for Anwar. We found them, wounded and nearly broken. And the elf residing in this inhospitable wasteland? It was none other than Lanathar, the royal court wizard before Thanandir's destruction. He...knew much about us, that he had no business knowing. So formidable was his gaze, or the power of it so strong, that he saw the crystal shards we carried.
Here is the crux of the affair. He seemed inordinately interested in Arilyn for some reason. And then he told us: she is not "real". Oh, she is flesh and blood, but she was not born of a mother and a father. She was bound up, he said, with the crystal shards, was linked to them. It would indicate that she was created by them, and by the timeline given us by him, she was created while we were in possession of it. Which would mean that I am very likely her creator.
Needless to say, I was utterly flabbergasted at this. How could I have created her? I have no knowledge of how to use that kind of power. I did not even know that the shard possessed that range of power on its own until we acquired the second one. How could I have done this? How?
And why would I have created her? Though she is stalwart enough in a fight, she is repulsive in almost every way. There is no one I could conceive, save possibly that wretched human zealot, who I dislike more, and who is as unlike me as she. And what am I to do now? I have created her, for good or ill, and therefore I've a responsibility for her well-being. I am not ready for this, for being responsible for someone else in this way. Even if I could, if I knew how, I certainly could not unmake her now that she exists.
I am forced to consider, too: what if I were to unwittingly create something else? What if Arilyn were, for that matter, since she now holds a piece of it as well? What if it were to be something more...sinister, than Arilyn?
On the other hand, I confess to being rather intrigued at this notion. Such power that dwells within these shards! I saw some of the power of these things at the hands of that mad wizard, but such things as he brought into being had no will nor mind of their own. They were little better than puppets or golems. But to create a thinking, free-willed person, someone who has her own thoughts and feelings, even memories, if false ones...it is almost exhilarating, to think I have that much magical power at my fingertips, if I could but figure out how to use it.
It is merely idle maundering, however. I must be careful, for though I cannot, certainly, unmake Arilyn now that I have made her, but I must ensure that I do nothing of the sort again. I am unable to believe that it is a good thing to simply bring thinking, self-aware people into being. It is already more than my heart and mind can bear, to think that I am her creator, and that I am responsible for her, and not because she is so utterly nettling.