I have been punished.
I ran away from a foe, who seemed more powerful than I or my companions, out of fear. Something I cannot forgive myself for. In doing so I put Islan in danger. I put the world in danger as well, because he carried the piece of the crystal tear, which I believe the woman was after.
I was punished though. Punished for not standing in the face of danger and protecting others, and perhaps in doing so I have lost my ability to help anyone ever again.
Afterwards, when the smoke had cleared and Islan emerged victorious, the better of us for keeping a cool head, Dolartu noticed what had been done to me. He saw my punishment for my cowardice.
We ran from that place as quickly as possible, I strapped to a horse like a bundle of cloth. I wish I could take it back, I wish I had stood my ground and protected Islan; not that he needed it.
Upon making camp, I slept. I dreamed. What I dreamed of is possibly more disturbing than my punishment. I dreamed of the woman whom I ran from. The one who knew my name. The one who offered a merciful death for my cooperation. The one who knew who I was. I saw her in my dream, smiling, happy. There were others there as well, they were clouded however, I couldn't make them out.
I awoke, knowing that my dream was more than a dream, but a memory from my past. One I had forgotten. One I can only remember as well as I can remember any dream.
The memory fades now, but not the name. The name that fell from my lips in more of a stammer than anything else. The name of the woman in black. The name she never gave me. A name from a memory. A reason why she knew me.
Veridean
I cannot explain my reaction to her. My cowardice. My fright. Though it scares me even more now, to know that perhaps I had associated with her before, known her in some way. Though I don't know what could have twisted her so. The woman in my dream, my memory, was not the woman whom I ran from, though she was.
Yet another puzzle. One for which it seems I have been punished. |
