It is truly amazing the things one can discover of theirself in relatively short periods of time. What seemed to be a curse upon me, has instead become a great blessing. The recent loss of my eyes seems to have only brought me closer to true enlightenment.
Its not that I can see again, so much as sense the world around me. It is almost as sight was, but I now can hone my other senses, and feel the ebb of life itself in the world around me. It is truly amazing. Especially seeing as just two days ago I had all but given up on myself and my quest.
I feel as if something has directed events to occur just right, so that I may become closer to Geas itself. I believe that somewhere, whether she still be sleeping or not, L'Antwene is guiding some events in the world. Perhaps it is through me that she is able to do these things, I do not know.
I am greatful however, to Thanthaelor the wise old teacher whom we came into contact with on our way to Celembril. He was accompanied by the most odd of companions, Athrager, a half-ogre who studies the way of the fist as I have always done. I felt an immediate kinship with Thanthaelor however, he seemed almost like family. I can not say what it is exactly, as I have not been down my current path very far yet, but its as if I can sense the virtue in him.
Dolartu and Islan were suspicious of him at first, but when he mentioned that he could help me, that he could teach me, I went with him unquestioningly. I'd like to say it was the kinship which drew me to follow him, but in all honesty, it was no such thing. In fact, it had much more to do with that, at that moment, I didn't have anything to lose.
He led me into the woods a ways. We walked for what seemed like hours. I know it wasn't quite that long, but it is disconcerting at best to be led by a strange man through brush and tree, into the unknown. In fact, I'd say it was a huge excercise in trust. Perhaps following and letting go for a moment was part of the test.
He stopped very suddenly in what I assumed at that time was a clearing and directed me to look around me. I chuckled at this at first, mumbling that "it is difficult to look around when one is without eyes to see with." To which I was met with a swift knock on the head with what I assumed was a walking stick.
"Boy, I told you to look around. I never said anything about eyes. Its plain to see that ya ain't got those, but you do got more to see with than them." At this he swung his stick at me again, which I dodged without thought. "See, you haven't forgotten everything you were taught. How is it that you knew I was gonna do that, if ya ain't got no eyes?"
I was perplexed, I didn't quite know how to answer, though I did anyways. "Well, I could feel the swing in the air as it approached, and was able to imagine it as it came close. Though that's just a trick I learned to fight with. I didn't see it coming. I just knew it was. Its key when fighting with the body that you must focus your mind through it and anticipate the attack as it comes."
I could tell by the sound of his footsteps that he had begun pacing around me. "Good, now think on that a moment, and pay attention to where I am. Reach out through your other sense. Feel the world around you. I can see the spark of creation inside you. See, you've got something even most men of the gods can't claim for themselves. You buy, have been touched by the essence of life. I can't tell which one of 'em guides you, only that they do." I could tell he was moving around me faster, and in no particular pattern. I could hear his steps through the grass. Feel the sir change as he moved past. "See what I'm tellin' ya boy, you got a link with life. You just gotta use it. Now you prolly won't never see again as you did before, but that's alright, cause now you've been given the opportunity to see as things truly are. Not the mask that life wears."
At that he stopped. I couldn't feel him move anymore. "Where am I? Don't think just point." I couldn't tell he had moved around so much, I just pointed. "Close, but not enough, try again." With that I could feel him move very fast. "Focus."
I concentrated on the sound of his movement. The grass crunching, the air moving, the sounds of the trees moving, changing subtly, as if something blocked their noise for a moment. I pointed again. "Good. Again!" He moved again. I pointed. He moved. I pointed. Each met with the old man saying "good," or "excellent." The more he did it, and te faster he moved. In fact, the faster I thought about where he was, the more accurate I was. It wasn't so much that I could see where he was, but that I knew where he was. I could hear his robes ruffling.
After a while I could see a full image of him in my mind, in fact I actually had an image of my entire surroundings. It was as if I could see them. The color wasn't there, as that is a trink of light. But it was as if by honing in my other senses and using what I know of focusing my ki, I was able to focus everything around into an image. One that moved. After an hour or so I got so good at it that I could follow him with my finger no matter how quickly he moved. I could actually see him. Not as I used to see, but differently. It was as if I could sense his life, in fact everything immediately around me, and my mind just translated it into an image.
After a while. Thanthaelor stopped, "Now, very good. You are quick to learn, I am proud, though you are not done. What you have learned to do is tricky at best. You will always need to maintain your focus. Lose this and you will lose your sight as well. However, continue to practice and hone your senses and your sight may one day rival anything you ever imagined. This is Sight Beyond Sight. You see as the gods themselves do, you see the ebb, the flow of life.
"Now, I want you to meditate on what I have taught you. I will leave you here for a while, you don't need the distractions of your companions quite yet. I will send * to come find you in a while, when it is time to return." I tried to respond, to bow to him. To let him know how thankful I was, but I knew he was gone. Much more quickly that we had originally arrived.
So remarkable. I can't believe that I can see again. |
